Saying no doesn’t make you ungrateful.
Photo by Cameron Clark
As a professional speaker in the wedding industry, I am sometimes involved in conversations that go something like this:
"Hi, we’d like you to speak on creatives charging what they’re worth."
"Okay, my fee is $X."
"Oh, we’re not paying speakers."
Entrepreneurs in every creative field run into similar situations: they are asked to plan a destination wedding for publicity, or produce an event for charity, or to design and provide stationery goods for a conference. At times it makes sense to say yes to working for free.
At other times, you need to say no.
Where we get tripped up – and I see this across cultures – is that we (or the people asking) tend to view saying "no" as us being ungrateful for the opportunity. If we want to thrive, then we cannot allow ourselves to buy into the lie that it is never okay to say no.
Saying no does not make you ungrateful.
Saying no does not make you disloyal.
Saying no does not make you arrogant.
Saying no does not mean you are not generous.
Saying no does not mean you don't value community.
Saying no does not mean you don’t consider it an honor to be asked.
Saying no simply means the opportunity doesn’t fit with your priorities in this season of your life and/or career.
You can say no to press opportunities that don’t position your brand in a positive way (ex: reality television shows that make you look crazy and your clients like bride- or groom-zillas).
You can say no to events that cause you to miss a family member’s birthday or milestone celebration.
You can say no to opportunities that don’t help you contribute financially to your family’s goals.
You can say no to projects that will suck the life out of yourself and your team.
You can say no to clients who are not taking Covid precautions seriously and are putting yourself and your employees at higher than normal risk.
"No" is a complete sentence. If you want your business to grow and be better, learn how to remove any shame either yourself or others try to attach to you saying no.
The original version of this post was published in March 2012
Written by
LIENE STEVENS
Trusted by clients in 94 countries, Liene provides business strategy consulting for luxury wedding brands. Her research has been taught in the MBA curriculum at 41 universities, including Notre Dame, the University of Cape Town, and the Universidad Argentina de la Empresa. Named to the prestigious ‘Top 100 Keynote Speakers’ list in 2019, Liene also headlines wedding business conferences worldwide.
