Asking the right questions.
I'm a big fan of the question "why?" – I find it doesn't get asked enough.
For everything you do – every little decision – stop and ask "why?"
Once you've asked and settled on an answer, ask it again.
Keep doing this until you get to the core of what matters.
An example:
Q: Why did Sarah send us an inquiry through our site?
A: Because she's shopping for a wedding planner.
Q: Why does she want a wedding planner?
A: Because she's busy and wants a beautiful wedding.
Q: Why is she busy?
A: Because she's an attorney and is working long hours in order to make partner.
Q: Why does she want a beautiful wedding?
A: Because pretty environments make people feel special.
Q: Why do pretty environments make people feel special?
A: Because the attention to detail reminds people that they are not an afterthought -- that they're worth taking time to plan for. The details also set people at ease and help them feel welcome and relaxed which in turn helps them have a better time.
Q: Why does it matter if the guests have a good time?
A: Because a good experience can release dopamine and creates a memory that evokes good feelings later on.
Q: Why do the good feelings of the guests matter to us?
A: Because people with good feelings drive positive word of mouth, earning us more referrals.
People are driven by the stories they tell themselves as well as the stories they've allowed others to dictate into their lives. Peeling back the layers by asking "why?" will help you both understand and sell to your clients more effectively.
(A hint: it will usually be around questions 4-7 that you get the answer you're actually looking for.)
Originally published January 2012
