A great mentor will always cheer for your success.
Michael Phelps and Joseph Schooling in 2008 (left) and in 2016 (right)
Five years ago, you may have seen the story of Joseph Schooling, a swimmer from Singapore who, as a kid, idolized Michael Phelps. Phelps served as an inspiration and unofficial mentor for him — pushing him to be better.
Then in the 2016 Olympics, Schooling swam against his mentor in the 100m butterfly race, taking home the Gold, with Phelps receiving the Silver.
I am a huge advocate of having mentors — I don't know where I would be in my own life if not for the men and women who have inspired me, held me accountable, and shared their hard-earned wisdom with me, both officially and unofficially.
That said, as you grow in wisdom, as your talents and skills improve, as you continue to educate yourself and produce the best work you can, you will come to a point where you will go up against your mentors for jobs, awards, or other opportunities.
There is absolutely nothing wrong or unfair about this.
Successfully competing with people you hold in high esteem has as much do with your mindset as it does with talent. Once you get to the level where you are competing against people who were mentors – including people you may have once worked for – you will have to give yourself permission to do so. If you don't, you will self-sabotage and you won't succeed.
Notice that I said give yourself permission, not get permission from your mentors. You don't need permission from them — your goals belong to you.
As you think about your business, consider what you want to accomplish this year but that you feel is too big a dream. Where are you holding back because you’ve bought into the idea that you always have to stay at least one tier below where a mentor is?
Maybe you aren’t charging what you should because it would be a higher rate than your mentor charges.
Maybe you’ve been hesitant to move into the luxury market because you don’t want to upset a mentor who works in that segment.
Maybe you’ve been turning down speaking invitations because you feel like a mentor owns a particular niche and although you are now an expert as well, you don’t want to “steal the spotlight.”
You can be respectful of and grateful to a mentor for all they’ve taught you and still go after what you want.
True leaders create more leaders and great mentors will always cheer for your success. If they don't, it's time to reevaluate their right to speak into your life.
A version of this post was originally published August 2016.
Written by
LIENE STEVENS
Trusted by clients in 94 countries, Liene provides business strategy consulting for luxury wedding brands. Her research has been taught in the MBA curriculum at 41 universities, including Notre Dame, the University of Cape Town, and the Universidad Argentina de la Empresa. Named to the prestigious ‘Top 100 Keynote Speakers’ list in 2019, Liene also headlines wedding business conferences worldwide.
