She is ignoring all of my advice.
This question is from a luxury wedding planner in England:
I read your recent post on the Delta variant, thank you for that and helping the industry as you have done throughout the pandemic. I did send a question to you towards the start of all of this which you kindly helped me with, and I can’t believe this far on I still have questions!
Alas, I hope you can help again. I have a wedding here this Fall, the couple both live here, the bride is American and the groom is British. We have close to 100 guests and approximately 1/3 of their guests are flying in from the States, including the bride’s parents and close family and friends.
Currently the restrictions here mean anyone coming from America will need to quarantine for a minimum of 5 days (most likely longer as they need to do a test on day 5 and wait for the results). Even if they are fully vaccinated, England are not currently exempting quarantine unless vaccinated in the UK. None of the guests seem to be aware of this (I’m told most are older and not really aware of Covid too much as they live in the middle of nowhere).
I have previously highlighted the restrictions to my couple, so we can have a plan if this is still the case, so a) we fly them in earlier and they quarantine and in which case I also need to arrange accommodation etc, or b) get a gauge as to how many guests won’t be attending if restrictions don’t change.
They have pretty much ignored me previously when I’ve mentioned it. I met with the bride yesterday and explained this again and she said she wasn’t aware but would speak to her fiancé – she said she assumed everything was ok now and open in England (although I have explained exactly how things are previously in an email and they are pretty astute so I am very sure they are well aware). The only thing I’ve heard from her since then is can they have more flowers!
I am very concerned they are basically ignoring things and if it comes to it will just let the guests come over and not quarantine. They certainly don’t seem willing to have a conversation with me around it and are just hoping things will change by the time of their wedding. I would like to think they would but I’m not too sure, and as a planner I need to plan for the worse case and as things currently stand.
I am unsure what to do from here and also legally how I stand if I am aware guests aren’t quarantining. I have American guests asking me for sight-seeing recommendations, and some even saying they’re going onto other countries in Europe afterwards. I’m unsure if I should advise guests of restrictions, as a responsible planner, but I know that could open up a whole can of worms and I’m pretty sure it’s not what the bride wants. We also have guests flying in from other parts of Europe and Africa, just to add to confusion.
Apologies for the lengthy email but I wanted to make sure I clearly explained the situation. I’m at a loss but with the wedding in less than a few months I am feeling very anxious and uncomfortable and I’m unsure what to do. I have suggested they move the date but they are also ignoring that. I have considered if things don’t change that I step away if I am uncomfortable and feel restrictions aren’t being followed, or I’m unable to appropriately plan for them – but I have never had to do that and feel a huge responsibility at this stage to my couple and also to all of the other suppliers who are booked and I’m working with, most of which are of course also close industry friends. I do wonder if other planners with international / destination weddings are having similar issues. Any advice you can provide would be hugely appreciated!
Answer from Liene:
First let me say that your question perfectly highlights why people should hire a professional wedding planner if they have the means to do so. Weddings are complicated enough without a mutating virus causing global disruption! This past year has added so many moving pieces to events that truly no one should ask a wedding planner, “Why are you so expensive?” ever again.
Let’s break down the various parts of your situation:
I am going to be generous and assume that the apathetic response from your bride to the fact that 1/3 of her guests need to quarantine is a coping mechanism. It’s not a healthy one, nor a helpful one right now, but a lot of people choose to put their heads in the sand or just cross their fingers and hope everything will magically work out because doing so helps keeps their anxiety at bay.
Unfortunately, it does not keep your anxiety at bay since you are getting paid to pay attention to the very details she would rather not acknowledge. I mention all this to say that she may need some more handholding than usual.
That said, you need to have a compassionate “come to Jesus” meeting with her and her fiancé that very clearly states:
what they need to do
what their guests need to do
what the contingency plans will be
You also need to make it clear that you will not risk your business for their wedding.
Notice I said “states” and not “asks.” You are the expert, not them. You were hired to make this wedding happen, yes, but you were not hired to just do whatever they say and hope you don’t get sued (or worse) later. At this point with less than 75 days to go until the wedding, you need to plainly state, “This is what’s happening, and this is how we are going to handle it.”
COMMUNICATING WITH WEDDING GUESTS
As to their claim that some of their American guests are not very aware of Covid because they live in rural areas . . . No. That is not a thing in the US at this point. I am going to make another assumption and that is that if their guests have the means to fly to Europe for a wedding, they have access to the Internet. They are definitely aware.
That said, communication in the United States regarding Covid and the Delta variant has been . . . not great, to say the least. The press conference that the US Center for Disease Control (CDC) did yesterday about Delta and reinstating mask guidelines was a hot mess.
Also, most Americans aren’t keeping up with the UK’s rules for incoming travelers, especially as they keep changing (the BBC literally just posted this update while I was typing this that says these very rules may be lifted on Monday).
I am not an attorney, and you should definitely talk to one who is licensed to practice in your area, but I will say that it is always a good idea to have a paper trail showing that you reached out not just to your couple, but to their guests as well and very clearly kept them updated on travel and quarantine regulations.
From a practical standpoint, I would make the communication as clear as possible in a way that is easy to read and digest. Do not just bury it in a long email.
I’d recommend collaborating with a graphic designer, maybe even their invitation designer, to create an infographic that very clearly lays out exactly what they need to expect, to do, and to bring with them (e.g. their vaccination card) in relation to traveling to England for the wedding.
I would also let them know of other countries that are impacted. For example, England is also currently requiring travelers from France to quarantine as well. So if they are planning to extend their holiday/vacation (for the Americans, definitely use the word vacation in your infographic) to any of the impacted countries but return to England after, they may need to plan for additional quarantine on that end of their trip.
The infographic should be pretty (in the wedding’s color palette if possible), have pretty graphics, and have the info in bite size chunks of text, no more than 2-3 sentences per section.
And again, the updates that these quarantine restrictions will be lifted on Monday were just announced as I was writing this. So this may not even apply by the time you read it!
I would still create a contingency plan and I would still create an infographic that tells them everything they should expect and bring with them (such as that these new guidelines still require proof of full vaccination).
(I am not going to delete all the advice I just typed out in this section because it may apply to another wedding planner in a different country facing a similar situation.)
PROTECTING YOUR WEDDING BUSINESS
As I mentioned earlier, you need to make it clear that you will not risk your business for this wedding. I understand that you feel a responsibility to your client, especially since their wedding date is near, but as the old saying goes, you cannot set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
Whatever laws and regulations are in place at the time of the wedding are the ones that matter. You can produce the most beautiful wedding for this couple but if something happens because you chose to prioritize keeping the couple “happy” instead of telling them what they need to hear and you get sued into oblivion or in trouble with the government, you very well may not have a business once it’s over.
Yes, customer service matters. Yes, making your clients’ dreams come true matters. But your business is your baby, and you need to protect your baby.
Questions from Wedding Pros
I’ve been fortunate to have worked with wedding pros from 94 countries over my career and when I say we’re all in this together, I mean we are all in this together.
I am not a blogger, I am a business strategy consultant. This blog is not sponsored nor ad supported and is not how I make my income. I have not taken a dime to help clients (and non-clients) with Covid specific issues and I receive no financial benefit from this.
If you have a Coronavirus-related wedding business question, feel free to reach out. I’ll answer it here on the blog so that we can all navigate these new developments together as best we can. Please send any questions you have to hello@thinksplendid.com and remember there is no such thing as a dumb question.
I’ll be keeping the names anonymous so you don’t have to worry about being attached to a question in a Google search or in case you don’t want a colleague or competitor to know what’s on your mind.
Written by
LIENE STEVENS
Liene Stevens, the founder and CEO of Think Splendid, is an author, speaker, and award-winning business strategist. Armed with $2000, a healthy work ethic, and an undeserved dose of privilege, Liene bootstrapped Think Splendid from a scribble in a notebook to a successful wedding business consulting firm with a client list spanning 94 countries
